“because” Just Isn’t The Answer
Bringing up a child is difficult. There will be so many occasions when you wish your child had come with their very own owner’s handbook. After all every child is a one-off special. It can be very challenging but you must not lose sight of the wonderful rewards great parenting brings.
Bringing up a child is without doubt the most important job you will ever undertake. You want to do a good job.
Kids are inquisitive by nature. When they are small, by and large it’s because they want to find out about something. When they are older, it’s because they want to better understand why you think something is important and why they should also feel the same way. Whatever their age, it’s vital that when setting forth the rules and expectations in your home, your child comprehends there is no room for questioning the rules you laid forth and the repercussions of breaking the rules.
Younger kids usually cannot comprehend a long reasoning of why it matters that they return back home from their pal’s house at a certain time or why they are forbidden to play ball in the house. But the one thing they do try hard to do most of the time is to make their parents happy and proud. So when your young child asks “Why or “Why not?” when they are told they can’t play with someone or something or why they must obey a rule you’ve set forth, simply explain to them that “because it makes me happy when you follow the rules of the home and do what I have asked of you.” You should avoid using the term, “Because I said so,” as that only adds to the child’s frustration and confusion.
Older children and teenagers will generally need more from your explanation. When they question “Why?” or “Why not?” it’s necessary to directly, honestly and clearly state your logic. “I advised you to be home by doctor’s practice at 8.40am for your appointment and we can’t be late.” It is also a great chance for you to reiterate the outcome of not abiding by the rule. “If you are not home by the stated time, you’ll be grounded from going to your friend’s home for a week.” Be consistent, be firm, and be clear.
Though your child may question you by asking your logic why a rule has been set, it also shows their growing maturity as an individual thinker. So do try not to get angry or frustrated when they do so; realize it’s their way of making sense of their world around them.
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